Announcing: Predatory Lending Pro
Orbit Tide is officially entering the payments game with our new module Predatory Lending Pro!
Is your business shunned by traditional payment systems because you’re selling products that are considered not quite legal?
- Selling soil from Chernobyl to gardeners hoping to grow sentient eggplants?
- Has the FDA shut you down because your organic gluten free vegan milkshakes contain too much whole wheat, lard and mercury?
- Are your knockoff Pokémon plushies riddled with arsenic because the child labor you employ also works in your arsenic mine?
No Problem! With Predatory Lending Pro we have you covered.
Checkout methods include
Checkout for Gold
Who needs grandma’s gaudy old family heirlooms? Exchange her treasured memories for pennies on the dollar for a 3d printed full size sculpture of Abe Vigoda. I heard grandma was always a fan, it’s what she would have wanted.
Payday Advance Checkout
Don’t have the money now because you get paid under the table and your boss has had a bad week at the track? We’ll advance you up to half of your paycheck and all it will cost you is your entire paycheck. Might be a problem next week, but that’s next weeks problem.
Reverse Mortgage Checkout
Did your shitty grandkids steal all your jewelry to buy a statue of Abe Vigoda? Well screw them out of their inheritance with a reverse mortgage and buy a broach made of tanzanite and 14k gold that inexplicably turns green almost immediately. That will turn some heads at the bingo hall!
We also take discover.